Home for the Holidays
by SpectraVondergeist
Summary: Brandon and Callie's babies are growing up. And they are facing the heartbreaking possibility that they may never have a much-wanted third child, which is putting their relationship to the test. But as the Fosters gather for the holidays, Callie learns that miracles come from unexpected places. Sequel to Breaking the Rules, The Beginning of Forever, and Blood is Thicker Than Water.
1. Chapter 1

**This story is a special holiday gift to those who read my previous installments of this series. I didn't plan on doing another sequel, but I couldn't get this storyline out of my head. I do not own The Fosters, or any of the characters. Rachel, Gabe, and Lucy are original characters of my own. Enjoy the story!**

Chapter 1.

"No offense," said Callie, "but you're kind of taking the fun out of sex, honey."

Brandon lifted his head to face her. "What do you mean?"

Callie shrugged shyly. "Well, it used to be exciting, but lately... I don't know. It seems like we just do it and get it over with. It feels a little like a chore, you know?

Caressing her shoulder, Brandon replied, "Don't you want to have another baby?"

"You know I do," she told him, petting his back. "I really do. But maybe we're trying too hard? I don't want to just have sex. I want to make love. Like we used to."

Groaning, Brandon asked, "Well, what do you want me to do, Cal?"

She traced her fingers down his chest. "Well, for starters, you could touch me more... look into my eyes. Brandon, I love you so much... please?"

Brandon leaned into her and their lips connected. "I love you too, Cal. You know that. I'm sorry for whatever I did wrong, okay?"

"I know," Callie told him. "But it's not what you're doing. It's what you're _not_ doing."

Brandon took Callie in his arms and kissed her once more. He loved her more than life itself. It hurt him to know she felt unloved. He hadn't even realized that she felt that way. But maybe things had changed since they decided to try for a third child? The thought scared him, and he wanted to make up for it. Slowly, softly, he ran his fingers over the mounds of her breasts, replacing his touch with his lips, and vowing to love her the way she deserved.

Callie closed her eyes as Brandon touched her, and silently prayed. _Please let me get pregnant this time. Please_, she thought. She'd conceived Rachel right away. If her math was correct, it happened only on the first or second time she and Brandon tried. Gabe's conception took much longer. They waited two years to try, and he didn't arrive until almost three years later. And recently, there was another miscarriage. It was early on in the pregnancy, and not nearly as traumatic as the first one, but still, it was heartbreaking. Especially for the kids. Now that Rachel was nine and Gabe was four, no longer babies, Brandon and Callie longed for a third child. But it seemed that it wasn't ever going to happen.

The next morning, Callie awoke feeling poorly. She wondered, for a fleeting moment, if it could be morning sickness. But when she used the bathroom, she saw the blood. She'd gotten her period. She wasn't pregnant. Holding her face in her hands, she began to cry, her shoulders shaking, angry with her body. Maybe there would never be another baby for them? If not, would Brandon stop loving her?

Just then, Rachel pounded on the bathroom door, calling for her. "Mommy! Grandma Stef is on the phone!"

"Hold on, baby. I'll be out in a sec." She splashed some cold water on her face, then went to answer the phone. "Hey, mom," she said in forced cheerfulness.

"Hi sweetheart," Stef replied. "Listen, honey. I need to ask a favor of you."

"Sure," said Callie. "What is it?"

"Could we please borrow your crib? Just for a while?" Stef asked.

"I guess so," Callie told her. "But why?"

"We're getting a new arrival this afternoon," Stef explained. "An infant, and she needs a place to sleep. Her social worker called this morning."

"Yeah. I'll have Brandon get it down from the attic and bring it over," Callie promised. _It's not like we'll be needing it anytime soon_, she thought sadly.

"Thank you, Cal," said Stef. "We haven't fostered any kids in so long, so this is pretty exciting. Maybe you could bring the kiddos over when she gets here? I bet they'd like to see her."

"I bet they would," Callie replied. "Thanks. Well... I'll go ask Brandon to get it for you."

"Thanks again, angel," Stef chirped. "See you later... love you!"

"I love you too, mom," said Callie. "Bye." She hung up the phone, her heart aching. Another baby, one who wasn't theirs, would be sleeping in their crib. It almost seemed like a cruel joke.

** To Be Continued**


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2.

Lena came into the living room, cradling a bundle wrapped in pink. "Everyone, meet Lucy. She's just six months old." She sat down on the sofa, holding the baby close.

"She's beautiful," Callie breathed, admiring the baby girl her mother held. "Can I hold her?"

"Of course you can, love," said Lena. "But be very gentle with her... she's had a long day."

Callie held baby Lucy delicately in her arms, her ovaries aching for one of her own. It'd been so long since she held an infant. "You're lovely," she whispered. Lucy gazed up at her through blue-gray eyes and long lashes. He blond hair stuck up in feathery wisps, and she smiled, sticking her tiny tongue out.

"I like her, Mommy!" Gabe squealed. "Can I pet her?"

Callie laughed. "Yes... but be really gentle, okay?" She watched her son reach out timidly, and brush his hand over Lucy's soft hair, then giggle with delight. "What a nice boy," she praised. Gabe loved babies. Whenever he saw one, he had to stop to "ooh" and "aah" over it. Callie knew he'd be a doting big brother if he ever got the chance.

Rachel took the baby's hand, and grinned at Callie when Lucy squeezed her fingers tightly in her impossibly tiny fist. "Look Mommy! She likes me!"

"I think she does," said Stef, happily. "And her social worker said she doesn't take to everyone, so you guys must be pretty special."

"What happened to her parents?" Callie asked, looking up.

"Well, we don't know about her father," Stef explained. "But her mother abandoned her."

Callie glanced at Brandon, and felt like crying when he shared her pained look. Neither of them could imagine abandoning their children. It was almost out of the realm of possibility, something neither could wrap their minds around.

"Who would leave a baby as perfect as her?" Brandon asked. "Or any baby, for that matter."

"Yeah," said Callie. "And I can't believe someone hasn't snapped her up yet. Babies usually get adopted so fast in the foster system."

"Well," said Stef, warily. "The truth is, Lucy isn't well, honey."

"What's wrong with her?" Brandon asked, concerned.

"She was born with a heart defect," Stef told him, a troubled look in her eyes. "She's waiting for a heart transplant, and if she doesn't get one soon, well... she might not be here for very much longer."

"Oh," Callie breathed. Tears filled her eyes as she gazed at the baby, so innocent and helpless in her arms. Suddenly, she felt like the world's biggest jerk for feeling bitter about lending her moms the crib. "You poor baby," she whispered, soothingly. "I wish I could help you." She leaned down and kissed Lucy's soft pink cheek, wishing she could give her her own heart.

"What worries us," said Lena, "is that we won't be able to foster Lucy forever, which is a shame, because as long as she's with us, we know she'll be well cared for. I have some time off work for the holidays, but afterward, both of us will have to work during the day. So, we don't know what to do then. Daycare isn't an option, because of her health issues."

"So we were wondering," Stef added, looking pleadingly at Callie. "Would you be willing to baby-sit for her, sweetheart?"

"Me?" Callie asked, frightened. "I don't know if I'd know how..." She thought back to when Jude was born, also sickly, and the toll it took on her parents.

"She's just like any other baby," Stef assured her. "She just needs extra love. Please, Cal? We know you can handle this. You're a wonderful mom, honey. You're a natural with kids."

Callie smiled down at Lucy, who had fallen asleep, so warm and comfortable in her arms. She was a perfect fit. She imagined herself being able to hold and cuddle the sweet little girl every day, almost as if she was her own baby. "Okay," she said, without hesitation. "Yes. I'll do it."

**To Be Continued**


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3.

"Mommy?" Rachel asked, as Callie tucked her into bed that night.

"Hmm?" Callie asked, a bit distracted.

"I can't stop thinking about baby Lucy," the little girl admitted.

"Me neither." Callie sat on the edge of her daughter's bed, and took her hand. "What's on your mind, Pumpkin?"

"I'm just wondering," Rachel began, "why some babies have to be sick? Lucy didn't do anything wrong. She's just a little baby."

Callie was close to tears as she looked into her daughter's deep, thoughtful brown eyes. "Well, baby," she sighed. "That's a question I can't really answer. I guess it's because diseases don't pick and choose people by age, or whether they're good or bad. Sickness isn't a punishment. It's just something that happens sometimes."

"But it's sadder when it happens to a baby," Rachel noted, her brow furrowed.

"Yes. It is," Callie told her. "And that's why we need to pray really hard that Lucy will get a new heart soon. Okay?"

Rachel nodded. "Okay."

Callie leaned down a kissed her daughter goodnight. "I love you, Princess. Sweet dreams."

Rachel wrapped her arms around her mother's neck in a tight hug, and kissed he cheek. "I love you too, Mommy. Goodnight."

Callie shut of the light, and left the room, leaving Rachel's door open a crack, just the way she liked. Quietly, she entered Gabe's room, ready to tuck him into bed. He sat on the floor, coloring a picture of a Christmas tree. "Hi, Mommy!" he said, looking up.

"Hi sweetie," Callie smiled. "That's a nice picture you're drawing. Is it finished?"

Gabe nodded. "Almost." He took a red marker and drew two stick figures, one small, and one bigger. "Done!" he announced proudly. "It's a Christmas card for Daddy!" He handed Callie the finished card.

"This is beautiful," said Callie, studying the drawing. "Daddy will love it." She set the picture on the dresser. "It's time for bed now, baby. Let's pick up the markers, okay?"

"I'm not sleepy yet," Gabe protested, scooping his marker's back into their plastic bucket. "See? My eyes are still round." He pointed to his very much awake eyes.

Callie snorted back a laugh. "Sissy's already in bed. It's time for you to go to sleep, too. Santa's watching... you want to be on the nice list, don't you?"

Gabe nodded frantically, then hopped into his bed. "But I'm still not sleepy."

"How about some warm milk?" Callie suggested. "Mommy'll make you some." She left the room, and walked back down the hall.

"Mommy!" Rachel shouted, as Callie passed her room.

"What, Pumpkin?" she called back.

"I'm thirsty. Can I please have a drink of water?"

"Yes. I'll bring you some in a minute. Okay?"

"Okay," Rachel replied.

Callie went to the kitchen, yawning. Getting the kids to go to sleep was a battle each and every night. Especially so close to the holidays, when they were already all wound up. She filled a glass with water, then poured some milk into a mug, and microwaved it until it was warm, but not hot. Then, she brought the drinks back upstairs. She went to Rachel's room first. "Here you go, baby."

"Thanks, Mommy," said Rachel, sipping her water slowly.

After she was satisfied that Rachel was going to go to sleep, she brought the milk to Gabe. "This will help you feel sleepy, honey. Drink up."

Gabe took the mug from her, and gulped the milk. When he was finished, he had a milk mustache, which he wiped off with the back of his hand.

"Now," said Callie, tucking him in. "To bed, I said." She leaned down and kissed him. "Goodnight. I love you."

"Goodnight, Mommy." Gabe held out his arms for a hug, and Callie scooped him up in her arms, cuddling him close. "I love you."

On the way out of her son's room, Callie touched the edge of the rocking chair Brandon had bought her when they were expecting Rachel, her eyes tearing up with the memory. She'd fed and rocked both of their babies in that chair. Would she ever rock another baby to sleep in it?

Brandon was in bed, reading, when she crawled in beside him. "Are the kids settled down?" he asked.

"Yeah," Callie nodded. She handed him Gabe's Christmas card. "Gabe made this for you."

Brandon smiled as he looked at his son's drawing. "This is pretty good!" He set the card on the nightstand, then bent down and kissed Callie. She returned the kiss, wrapping her arms around him. "My beautiful Callie," he whispered. He moved her pajama top from her shoulder, and kissed her bare skin.

"Honey, I'm not up to this tonight," Callie told him, stopping him. "I'm really, really tired... and I got my period today."

"Oh," said Brandon, looking disappointed.

Callie sighed, caressing his cheek. "I'm sorry, sweetie... I don't know why I'm not getting pregnant. I don't know what to tell you."

"I understand," Brandon told her, squeezing her hand.

Callie nodded. "Thanks... I love you."

"I love you, too, Cal," he said. "Do you feel like cuddling?"

"Sure. That sounds nice." Callie let him take her in his arms, and hold her, rubbing her aching back. She leaned against him, feeling his warmth, and listening to his heartbeat. She couldn't fall asleep, though. She was too nervous. There were still several days until Lena's holiday break officially began. The next morning, Monday, would be her first day of baby-sitting Lucy.

**To Be Continued**


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4.

"I know what I'm doing!" Callie snapped at Brandon, while trying to fix the zipper on Gabe's jacket, which was stuck. "I'm not stupid!"

"Well, hurry up," he griped back, looking at his watch impatiently. "They're gonna miss the bus."

Callie yanked the zipper tab as hard as she could, to no avail. She and Brandon had been bickering all morning. Callie no longer remembered what the original argument was even about. "I could do it faster if you'd stop nagging me," she mumbled, frustrated. She dug through her purse, and found a lip balm. Uncapping it, she rubbed it on the zipper teeth. It worked, but just as she was zipping the jacket, Rachel shouted from the doorway.

"There goes the bus!" she cried.

Callie turned to see the bus pass by their house. "Great," she sighed. "Brandon, you should've tried to stop it!" It wasn't a big deal, she knew, but she was so tired and stressed, that missing the bus was the last straw. She pressed her fingers to her temples, breaking down in tears.

"Hey...," said Brandon, worried. "Don't cry, Cal. Come here." He pulled Callie to her feet and hugged her, kissing her cheek. "I'm sorry, babe. I didn't mean to upset you. It's okay, really, honey. Just bring the kids with you when you go to moms'. Lena will take them to school. They're going to the same place, anyway."

Callie nodded. "I'm sorry too," she told him, dabbing her eyes with a tissue. "I haven't exactly been a joy this morning. Do your forgive me?"

"Of course I do," Brandon promised. "Let's just forget about it. I've gotta run now, okay?" He gave her a quick peck on the lips. "I love you, Cal."

"I love you, too," she told him quietly.

Once Brandon left for work, Callie loaded the kids in the car. As she was bucking Gabe's seat belt, he looked up at her. "I'm sorry I made you sad, Mommy," he told her apologetically.

"No, baby," Callie sighed. "You didn't do anything to make me sad. Mommy's just having a rough morning." She kissed her son's forehead, brushing back his hair. Gabe was a handsome little boy. He was a combination of both his parents, with Brandon's dark, wavy hair and adorably crooked smile, and Callie's chocolate brown eyes. She smiled at him lovingly, then shut the car door and got in the front seat.

"Mommy?" Rachel asked, as they drove to Stef and Lena's.

"What, Pumpkin?" Callie looked back at her daughter in the rear view mirror.

"Are you and Daddy gonna get a divorce?"

Callie sucked in her breath, pained by her daughter's question. "No," she said, reassuringly. "Why do you ask, sweetheart? Is that something you're worried about?"

"Well," said Rachel. "You and Daddy have been arguing a lot. It scares me. I don't want you guys to break up."

"Rachel, baby," Callie began. "All couples argue sometimes, when they're tired or frustrated. It doesn't mean we're going to get a divorce. Daddy and I love each other, and you have nothing to worry about. Okay?"

"Okay," said Rachel, quietly, as they reached the house. Lena was just getting into her car, when Callie called out to her.

"Could you get these two to school?" she asked her mother. "Please. We missed the bus this morning."

"Sure," Lena nodded. "No problem!" Relieved, Callie kissed the kids and told them to have a good day. Once they were buckled into Lena's car, she went inside the house, where Stef and Lucy were waiting.

"Hey, honey," said Stef, happy to see her. When she took her daughter into a hug, Callie found herself clinging to her mother a little longer, in need of comfort. Once they parted, Stef gave her a list of instructions for Lucy's medications and care. "She's still in bed," she explained. "I'll come home for lunch to check in if you'd like. We can eat together and visit for a while."

"Sounds great!" Callie smiled. "I can have lunch ready, if you want."

Stef patted her daughter's cheek. "That would be lovely." She kissed Callie's forehead, giving her one more quick hug. "I love you, baby girl. And I appreciate you helping out with Lucy. I don't know what we'd do without you."

"I'm happy to help," Callie replied. "And I love you too, mom."

As soon as Stef had left for work, Callie went upstairs to her parents' room to see Lucy. She found her awake in the crib, dressed in a pink sleeper. The baby gurgled, smiling, when she saw Callie. "Good morning, Lucy Goosey," Callie chirped, her mood already marginally better. "Look at you, all pretty in pink. You look like a little rosebud!"

Lucy blew a spit bubble, kicking her feet. Callie lifted her out of the crib and cradled her in her arms. "My babies slept in this crib," she told her. "It's hard to believe they were as little as you once." She carried the baby downstairs to the living room. "You wanna look at the Christmas tree?" She stood in front of the decorated artificial tree, pointing to the different decorations. Lucy reached out with one hand and touched a silver ball. Her eyes sparkled, reflecting the ornaments.

The morning was uneventful. Callie remembered Rachel at Lucy's age, already getting into everything. But the baby girl she held was docile and quiet, even lethargic. Sitting down on the sofa, she held the baby, singing softly to her, thinking that sitting for her would be a piece of cake. That was, until it was time for Lucy's medications. Callie followed Stef's written instructions exactly. However, she couldn't help but feel nervous, and found herself reading and re-reading the instructions several times, just to be sure. There were four liquid medications, including diuretics and blood thinners, which she had to measure carefully with an eye dropper. Tilting Lucy's head back slightly, she slowly began squeezing the contents of the droppers down her throat, making sure she swallowed them. Lucy gagged, trying to spit the medicine out. Not able to do so, her face screwed up and turned red, and she let out an ear-piercing wail. Callie held her breath as the baby cried, unable to stop the panic rising in her chest.

** To Be Continued**


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5.

As Lucy carried on, Callie became more worried. She didn't know much about the baby's condition, but she was pretty sure her hysterical crying wasn't good for her heart. And part of her was annoyed that Stef hadn't mentioned how Lucy would react to taking her medicine, because she wasn't prepared for it at all. "Don't cry, sweetheart," she cooed. "It's all over. No more icky medicine today." She tried rocking the baby, but she still screamed. She tried thinking back to when her own children were sick when they were little. Of course, neither Rachel or Gabe had ever been as sick as this baby, but still... there had to be something that would help. Gabe was the easiest baby in the world, but he'd had a double ear infection once, and had to take an antibiotic that smelled vile. Callie imagined it didn't taste any better, and he cried when he had to take it. But she always fed him something he liked afterward, and once the taste was gone, he calmed down. She set Lucy in a highchair that was set up in the kitchen, and looked through a cupboard until she found a jar of applesauce baby food. She dipped a baby spoon in the applesauce and brought it to Lucy's mouth. "Mmm... you'll like this." The baby refused to open her mouth, but Callie touched the spoon to her lips. Finally, she relaxed enough to let the spoon in, and her tears slowed down.

"That's a good girl," Callie smiled, breathing a sigh of relief. "Now. How about I make you a yummy bottle? Does that sound good?" She filled a bottle with formula and heated it, then tested it on her wrist to make sure it wasn't too hot. "Let's go in the living room, Lovey," she said, picking Lucy up. "You look like a little girl who needs some cuddling." Sitting in an arm chair, she held the baby, coaxing the rubber nipple of the bottle into her mouth, and Lucy began to drink her formula, her eyes growing sleepy. Callie always enjoyed feeding her babies. It was the most peaceful time of her day. Sitting there with Lucy brought it all back. She shut her eyes for a moment, letting the tension in her shoulders disappear.

Once Lucy was done eating, Callie lifted her onto her shoulder and tried to burp her. She was afraid to pat her back too hard, worrying about hurting her, so she rubbed her back in slow circles. Lucy hiccuped, then spit up. "Oh no," Callie laughed, tickling the baby. "What did you do?" Lucy smiled at her, drooling. "I really should've known to use a burp cloth, huh?" She carried her back upstairs and changed her diaper, which was wet, then laid her down in the crib for a nap. Then, she looked through Stef and Lena's dresser until she found a shirt. She didn't know who it belonged to, but she didn't think they'd mind her borrowing it. She changed into it, then brought her soiled shirt downstairs and threw it in the washing machine. By then, it was nearing lunchtime, and she was already getting tired. She looked through the fridge, trying to find something simple to make for herself and Stef. "You know what?" she said to herself. "We're having PB&J."

After she washed her hands, she made two sandwiches, almost cutting off the crusts before realizing the sandwiches weren't for the kids. She set them on two plates, with a handful of potato chips, just as Stef came through the door. "Hi, honey," she said, hugging her daughter. "How's Lucy?"

"She's taking a nap," Callie replied. "But she had a hard morning. Mom... why didn't you tell me she'd freak out when I gave her her medicine?"

Stef blushed slightly. "I'm sorry, Cal. It just slipped my mind." She reached out and squeezed her daughter's arm. "I really am sorry, sweets."

"It's okay," Callie sighed, "But are there any more surprises I should know about?"

Stef took a moment to think. "If her lips look a little blue sometimes, don't panic. It's called a cyanotic spell, a symptom of her condition, and it goes away after a minute or so. Just rock her or snuggle her."

"That's good to know," Callie groaned. She would have fainted dead away if she saw Lucy's mouth turning blue, and didn't know any better.

Stef looked at her daughter apologetically. "So, what's new with you, darling? You seemed kind of tense when you got here this morning."

Callie's sandwich stuck to the roof of her mouth, and she gulped some water from her glass before speaking. "Tense is an understatement," she admitted. "Brandon and I have been arguing all morning. Then, on the way here," he voice shook slightly, "Rachel asked me if we're going to get a divorce." Of course, she didn't mention to her daughter that she and Brandon weren't legally married, and therefore couldn't actually get "divorced." They considered themselves husband and wife, whether they had the papers to prove it or not.

"Oh, honey..." Stef sighed. "That's hard. Are you guys okay, though? Did you make up?"

"Yeah," Callie nodded. "It's just... we've been under so much stress, trying to get pregnant. I don't know if it will ever happen."

Stef took her daughter's hand in hers. "You're body's been through so much, baby. It might not be a bad idea to get checked out by the doctor."

"I already have," Callie told her. "I have some scar tissue. I don't know if it's from what Liam did to me or the miscarriages. But the doctor didn't seem too worried about it, and I've had two healthy kids. I just don't get it."

"Don't be too hard on yourself," said Stef. "It's not your fault, and Brandon will understand that."

"I feel like I'm failing him," Callie admitted, tears stinging her eyes.

Stef squeezed her hand lovingly. "You're not, baby. No. Don't let this come between you two. You've been together for almost ten years, and you're still in love. How many couple can say that these days?" She handed Callie a tissue. "Have you guys considered fostering kids? Or adoption? There are so many kids who need a good home. I know Lucy sure could."

Callie shrugged. "Not really. Would I even be able to with my record? I can't even volunteer in the kids' classrooms, because I didn't pass the school's background check." She sighed. "I did so many stupid things when I was young. Sometimes I wonder if our kids are just going to be humiliated by me someday."

Stef smiled slightly. "They won't, Callie. You're their Mommy. They love you. And like we always told you... you're not your record. As for fostering and adoption, there are exceptions. You might be surprised."

"I'll think about it," Callie promised.

After lunch, Stef went back to work and Lucy was still napping. Callie tossed her shirt in the dryer, then watched the baby sleep for a little while, frightened to leave her alone for too long. She sat in a chair near the crib, and thought about her mom's suggestion. Adoption changed her life, beyond anything she could've hoped for. It would be nice to pay it forward to another child, especially Lucy. She was fond of the baby girl, so beautiful and fragile. She was a child you just wanted to mother. But Lucy's illness scared her in some ways. It was intimidating for someone who had no experience with it. And what if the baby never got the heart transplant she desperately needed? It would be devastating to lose another child. But at least they could give Lucy a loving home for whatever time she had left. She sighed sadly, torn. Deep down, she knew she still longed to have another baby of her very own. Brandon, too. And she wasn't at all sure that they were ready to give up on their dream yet. But she couldn't deny the fact that baby Lucy had found her way into her heart.

**To Be Continued**


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6.

The rest of Callie's first day baby-sitting Lucy went smoothly, but by the time Lena came home from work, Callie was anxious to spend time with her own family, and rushed home to meet the kids when they got off the school bus. Rachel and Gabe ran to her, and she scooped both of them up in a hug. "How's baby Lucy?" Rachel asked.

"She's okay," Callie answered. "She slept most of the day."

"Oh," Rachel nodded.

"Hey! Let's do something fun today," Callie suggested as the entered the house. "Who wants some hot cocoa?"

"Me!" both kids shouted.

"Then it's unanimous," Callie laughed. "Marshmallows?" Rachel and Gabe nodded enthusiastically.

Once she made three cups of hot chocolate and set them on the table, she sat down to join the kids, taking a long sip from her steaming mug. "So," she said. "I thought we could write out letters to Santa today. It's almost Christmas!"

Gabe bounced in his seat, unable to contain his excitement. "Yay!" he squealed.

"I'll go get some paper and markers," said Callie. "Sit tight. I'll be right back!" She went to the hall closet, humming "Jingle Bells." The childrens' enthusiasm for the holidays was contagious, and provided a great distraction from her problems. How could she not feel good, with so much to look forward to? She rummaged through the kids' craft supplies, until she found construction paper. She was reaching for a container of markers and crayons when she felt little fingers tap her back. Jumping, she turned to see Rachel.

"Mommy?" the little girl asked.

"What, Pumpkin?" Callie asked, using her daughter's nickname.

"Um," Rachel stammered shyly. "I have to tell you something."

Callie turned back from the closet shelf to face her. "Okay, baby. I'm listening."

"The thing is," Rachel began. "I don't think I believe in Santa anymore. I know our presents come from you and Daddy."

"Oh," Callie nodded. "Okay." That was it. Her heart was shattered to bits. Rachel, their first baby, had outgrown Santa. "Well, that's fine, baby," she told her, trying not to cry. "You're a big girl now. But listen, honey. Gabe is still little. He still believes. So let's not say anything about this to him. Could you... you know, pretend to believe, for him?" Callie remembered she and Jude's first Christmas in foster care. Jude was just a little older than Gabe, and still believed in Santa. He was excited about Christmas, expecting something magical to happen to them, like finding new bikes, or a puppy, or their mother under their foster family's tree. Callie, so young, but already bitter and angry, figured she should save him the disappointment by telling him the truth, that Santa didn't exist. In her preteen mind, she thought she was doing him a favor. But it was only when she let the cat out of the bag, that she realized what she had done. She'd ruined Christmas for her baby brother. She'd never forget the sadness in his face. She still regretted it to that day.

Rachel nodded. "Yeah. I can do that. It's kind of fun to pretend, even if I don't believe."

"Thanks," Callie smiled. "Now, let's write some letters to the big guy!"

Once they were seated at the table, their supplies laid out, Callie and the kids set to work. "Mommy?" Gabe asked. "Will you write my letter for me?"

"Sure, baby." Callie took a green piece of paper, and a red marker. "Dear Santa," she wrote at the top. "Now, tell me what you want, kiddo."

"Um," said Gabe, thinking hard. "I want dinosaurs, and Legos, and trains."

Callie neatly copied his wishlist on the paper. "Anything else?" she asked.

Gabe shrugged. "I think I have to watch more commercials before I decide."

Laughing, Callie nodded. "Okay, honey. Why don't you decorate your letter now?" She passed him the paper so he could draw on it, then began her own list, just for fun. She was just writing "One cup coffee maker," when Rachel looked up.

"I'm done with my letter," she announced. "Read it, Mommy." She winked at Callie knowingly. Callie took the letter from her daughter, and looked it over. "Dear Santa," it began. "This X-mas, I want an American Girl doll that looks like me, sparkly pink sneakers, a jewelry box with a ballerina that spins inside, and friendship bracelet kit. I also want Mommy and Daddy to get a new baby, and a new heart for Lucy. Love, Rachel J. Foster."

"That's a good letter, Pumpkin," Callie told her daughter. "I think we should all add the part about Lucy to our list."

Later that evening, Brandon came home from work with a surprise. A real Christmas tree. It was beautiful, and smelled wonderful. The kids were overwhelmed with excitement as they helped their father set it up. "I'm gonna go get our ornaments from the basement," Callie told them, leaving the room.

Brandon was adjusting the tree stand, when Rachel asked; "Daddy? Tell me how you and Mommy met?"

Brandon paused thoughtfully. There were things about the early days of their relationship that weren't for the kids to know, at least until they were older. "Well," he said. "We met when we were sixteen. Mommy was a foster child, and Mimi brought her home to live with us."

"And you fell in love then?" Rachel asked.

"Not all at once," Brandon explained. "The first time I saw your mother, I thought she was the most beautiful girl I'd ever seen. And I still do. I remember coming home that day, and seeing her sitting at the table. I couldn't stop looking at her, she was so pretty. I think I fell in love with her at first sight, but it took her a little longer to fall for me."

Rachel's eyes sparkled as she listened to her father talk. "Then what?"

"Then," said Brandon. "We grew up and got married, and you were born, then Gabe. And here we are now."

"That's a good story," said Rachel, turning back to the tree.

Callie held the box of ornaments, standing in the doorway of the living room. Tears stung her eyes as she watched Brandon and the children. She crossed the room, setting the box down, then wrapped her arms around Brandon from behind. Standing on her tiptoes, she pressed her lips to his ear. "It was first sight for me, too."

** To Be Continued**


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7.

Later that night, after the kids were asleep, Callie got into bed, snuggling close to Brandon. "So..." she said. "I talked to mom today, and she had an interesting idea."

"Yeah?" Brandon asked, barely paying attention, absorbed in his e Reader.

Callie reached over and pressed the off button, causing him to sigh, annoyed. "This is important, and I want you to listen to me," she told him. "Please?"

Brandon nodded. "Okay. Go ahead. I'm listening."

"Well," Callie began. "We were talking about how I've been trying to conceive, and how it hasn't really been working. She said that maybe we should consider fostering and adoption, because Lucy needs a permanent home, and it could be ours. I'm open to the idea. What do you think about it?"

"I don't know..." said Brandon. "I mean, it's something to consider, but I still want to have another baby of our own." He thought adoption was a wonderful, beautiful thing. He really did. His life was much richer for being raised with adoptive siblings. But he still had his heart set on Callie having another baby the old-fashioned way.

"Well, what if we can't?" Callie asked.

"It's a big decision, Cal," Brandon replied. "I don't know if I'm ready to talk about it right now. Maybe if you aren't pregnant by the beginning of the year, we'll think about it a little more seriously."

Callie nodded. "Okay. Another idea. Fertility treatments."

"They're expensive, honey," Brandon told her. "It's a good idea, but I doubt we can afford it."

Callie sighed, her temper rising. "Well, what do you want me to do, then? Stand on my head after we have sex so the sperm goes the right way?"

Brandon snorted back a laugh.

"Don't laugh at me," Callie snapped. She felt tears well up in her eyes. "I just want to have a baby."

"I wasn't making fun of you, Cal," Brandon said, brushing back her hair. "Really. You're just cute when you're mad."

"Well, I wish you'd take me seriously," she replied, swiping her tears away.

"I do take you seriously," Brandon told her. "You're just so high-strung lately. It's not you, Cal, being all weepy and whiny. I want my tough, feisty Callie back."

"So you'd rather I hide my feelings behind a tough attitude than tell you how I really feel?"

"I didn't say that," Brandon sighed. "Let's just sleep on it. We're both tired, and neither of us are in the right frame of mind tonight."

"Fine," said Callie. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight, honey. I love you." Brandon brushed her lips with a gentle kiss.

"I love you too," Callie replied, as he flipped off the lamp. In their ten-year relationship, she thought, this was the first night she'd ever gone to bed angry with him.

The next morning, Callie woke up very early, to find Brandon's arms wrapped around her. It felt good, being in his embrace, the first rays of sunlight filtering through their window. Then she remembered the argument from the night before. It was a new day, full of hope. Gently, she nudged him awake.

"Hmm?" he mumbled, rubbing his eyes tiredly.

"I'm sorry," said Callie quietly. "For last night."

"I'm sorry, too," he replied, a little more alert. He rubbed her arm, feeling goosebumps rise on her skin. "You're cold." He pulled her closer, wrapping the comforter around her, and kissed her forehead. Callie ran her fingers through his hair, and soon they were kissing with passion. She moaned softly when she felt him reach down, rubbing her through her panties, and she wrapped her legs around him, bucking her hips against his.

"Mommy?" a little voice asked from the doorway.

Callie snapped her head up, and Brandon jerked around quickly. There stood Gabe, in his pajamas, looking upset. "What's up, buddy?" Brandon asked.

The little boy went to their bedside. "I had a bad dream."

Groaning inwardly, anxious to get back to what he and Callie started, Brandon sighed. "It's almost time to wake up, sweetheart. Why don't you go on back to bed? Daddy will walk you."

Gabe shook his head, his chin quivering. "I want to sleep in the big bed. Please?"

Before Brandon could protest, Callie grabbed his shoulder. "Let him stay. It's okay." She looked at her son, lifting the covers. "Come on up, baby. Cuddle with Mommy and Daddy."

Gabe crawled up into the bed, scooting over Brandon, who lost his breath when his son's boney little knee hit the wrong place. "So much for bearing children," he whispered in a choked voice.

Callie giggled as their son settled between them, resting his head against her chest. "There. All nice and warm." She smoothed his hair and rubbed his arm, soothing him back into sleep. Once his droopy eyes closed, she glanced over at Brandon, apologetically.

He sighed. What else could he do but give in? The mood was ruined, their four-year-old was in their bed, and Callie looked so sweet and motherly. He wrapped his arms around his son and wife, hugging them close.

**To Be Continued**


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8.

_It doesn't feel like Christmas_, Callie thought, standing in front of their tree. Christmas Eve had finally arrived. She gently touched the ornaments hanging from the green branches. She took a pink, ceramic angel in her hand, lovingly fingering it. Brandon gave her the ornament as a gift. The angel held a banner that read "Baby's First Christmas" in gold script, celebrating their first holiday with their daughter. On the back of the angel, Callie had written Rachel's name, birthday, and weight in permanent marker, so she'd always remember that special time. When Gabe was born, Brandon had given her another ornament just like Rachel's, except the angel was blue instead of pink. There might have been a third ornament on their tree by now, if her most recent pregnancy hadn't ended in a miscarriage. This year, they wouldn't be getting ready to spend the holiday with Stef and Lena, and the rest of the family. They'd be staying home with a newborn, too young to leave the house. Callie felt her eyes fill with tears as she thought about what might have been. She'd been trying so hard not to be "weepy and whiny," as Brandon had put it, only letting her tears fall when she was in the shower, and the water would wash them away. Or when she was holding Lucy, and the scent of baby powder enveloped her. She wanted to prove to Brandon that she was still the same Callie he fell in love with, strong and unshakeable. But she couldn't help letting herself cry, just a little, thinking about the baby she never got to hold.

Another ornaments caught her eye, and she traced her finger around it lightly. It was a Christmas gift from Stef and Lena, a silver frame hanging from a metallic ribbon. The phrase, "Our First Christmas" was engraved in the brushed metal, and behind the shining glass, there was a photo of herself and Brandon. Callie was smiling in the picture, and Brandon had his arms around her, kissing her cheek. She longed for those beautiful days when she was so secure in his love. They had nothing to argue about, then. Now, it wasn't that there was no love between them, because there was. They just felt so... distant from each other. Glancing at the clock on the mantle, Callie wiped her tears on her sleeve, knowing it was time to pull herself together. "Come on, guys!" she called up the stairs. "We have to get going!"

Seconds later, the children came racing down the stairs, giggling. "Walk, don't run!" Callie warned, as the kids skidded to a halt in front of her. "Where's Daddy?" she asked.

"He's wrapping Grandpa Mike's Christmas present," Rachel told her. "He said he'll be down in a second. With that, Brandon came down the stairs, carrying several gift bags in his hands. Callie turned away, pretending to fix Gabe's vest, worried her face was still tear-stained. She looked up when she felt Brandon's hand on her back.

"Callie?"

"Hmm?" she asked, standing up.

Brandon caressed her cheek gently. "I just wanted to tell you... you look beautiful today."

Callie touched the knit of her dark green sweater. "Thanks, honey. You look very handsome." She let Brandon take her into a hug, burying her face in his chest. When they separated, she looked at the clock again. "We really have to head out now."

Soon, they arrived at the Foster home, the driveway already crowded with cars, telling them the house would be packed with family; Mike, Jude, Jesus and Lexi, and Mariana and her fiancee. When they rung the bell, Lena answered the door, grinning. "My babies are here!" she gushed, hugging the kids. "Hello, everyone! Come in, come in." She ushered the family into the living room. After that, they were swept up in a wave of holiday greetings.

"Son," said Mike, hugging Brandon. "It's good to see you!"

"You too, Dad," said Brandon. "Merry Christmas."

"And there's our Callie," said Mike, embracing her. "Merry Christmas, sweetheart."

Callie smiled, her heart warmed. "Merry Christmas, Dad." Though technically she was only Stef and Lena's adoptive daughter, Mike became a sort of father-figure to Callie when she joined the family. She bore his last name, and she loved him as if he were her parent. "You look great," she told him.

"Trying to stay healthy," he chuckled. "Though I know my willpower will go out the window when your mother brings out the Christmas cookies." He patted Callie's back. "You look great too, darling. Pretty as ever."

Rachel spotted her Uncle Jude right away, running into his arms. "Hey Jude!" she called. A Beatles fan since she was in the womb, Rachel had always greeted her uncle that way, after her favorite song.

"Hey there, kiddo," said Jude, picking up his niece and kissing her cheek. "How's my best girl?"

"Good," Rachel told him. "How's my best uncle?"

"Can't complain," Jude told her. "Wait until you see what I got you for Christmas, little lady. You're gonna love it."

Callie smiled, watching her younger brother and daughter interact. They'd shared a special bond, from the time Rachel was born. Probably, Callie thought, because she was his namesake. Rachel's middle name, Judith, was chosen with him in mind.

After Jude set Rachel down, he took his sister in a hug. "How are you, honey?" he asked.

Callie wanted to tell her brother how she was really feeling, which was, not in the least bit festive. But instead, she smiled warmly. "I'm doing pretty good," she told him. She pressed a kiss to his cheek. "Merry Christmas, Jude."

The afternoon wore on, and after dinner, the family gathered back in the living room to open their gifts, including Lucy, who was adorable in a red velveteen Christmas dress. It was a family tradition to open just one present on Christmas Eve. Rachel opened her gift from Jude first. His eyes shone as he handed her the slim box, wrapped in bright paper. She tore off the wrappings, and lifted the lid. Then, with Callie's help, she held up a beautiful, satiny party dress of evergreen and black plaid. He jaw dropped as she touched the smooth fabric. "Thank you, Uncle Jude!" she cried, hugging him.

"You're welcome, Princess," he told her, with a wink. "I expect to see you in it tomorrow."

"I'll wear it," she promised. "I love it."

Callie hugged her brother, thanking him. "That dress... it must have cost a fortune. You didn't have to."

Jude shrugged. "I know I didn't have to. I wanted to. It was on sale. And they're only kids once."

"Well, thanks again," Callie smiled.

Finally, it was Callie's turn to open a gift. Her's was from Brandon, and it was heavy. She tore off the blue paper carefully. "A one-cup coffee maker," she said. "Thanks, sweetie. How did you know I wanted one?"

"Oh, a little birdie told me," he replied, smiling, proud of his gift.

Callie set the bulky box next to her. It was what she wanted. It really was. And Brandon knew her better than anyone. She liked practical things, that she could really use, rather than frivolous gifts. But the coffee maker wasn't romantic. And that Christmas, she was kind of hoping for something with a little more meaning behind it. Maybe a piece of jewelry, or some other trinket. A token of his love for her. She sat quietly, watching the rest of the family open their gifts.

Once the torn wrapping paper was picked up, and everyone was sitting around, sipping coffee or hot chocolate, Jesus called everyone's attention. He and Lexi, who were newlyweds, were holding hands, looking at each other lovingly. Callie averted her eyes, studying a scuff on her shoe. Brandon used to look at her like that. It hurt to see what she was missing.

"We have an announcement," said Lexi. She smiled radiantly at her husband. "Jesus and I... are... expecting!"

"Twins!" Jesus added, beaming.

The family exploded with applause and congratulations, but Callie felt devastated. Her eyes brimmed with tears, blurring and distorting the twinkling lights on the Christmas tree. "Excuse me," she apologized, hurrying away. "I just need some air."

**To Be Continued**


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9.

Once Callie was sitting in the backyard, she let her tears fall. If she was that upset, she couldn't imagine what Brandon was feeling. His brother's wife was about to have not one baby, but two. And she couldn't even conceive one. Just one more child to complete their family. It was all they wanted. Was it really so much to ask?

Lost in her thoughts, she didn't hear Brandon come into the yard until he sat down next to her. "Callie, honey," he whispered, putting his arm around her. "I'm here... it's okay."

"It's not fair," she hiccuped. "We've been trying and trying. And we lost our baby. But they've only been married... what... three months? And they're having two." She looked up at the night sky, tears rolling down her cheeks. "And they're so in love..."

"We're in love, too," said Brandon. "Cal, you're my entire life. You know that, right?"

"I used to," she admitted, nodding. "You used to look at me like I was the only person in the world. But lately, I've been wondering if it's me you love, or my eggs."

Brandon took Callie's chin in his hand, turning her head to face him. "It's _you_, lovey. It always has been. I love you, just as much as I always have. So what... they're having twins? I'm happy for them. But I wouldn't trade _you_ for sextuplets. I love our kids, but you're the glue that holds our family together. You're priceless." He took her cold hand in his, warming it. "I'm sorry we haven't been getting along so great lately, Cal. But I'm going to make it up to you, starting right now." He wrapped Callie in a hug, and kissed her lips, tenderly and slowly. Then he stood up, helping her to her feet. "It's cold out here. Come on." He lifted her up in his arms, bridal-style, and carried her toward the house.

"Where are we going?" she whispered.

"Shh," he replied. "You'll see." Once they got through the backdoor, he set her down. "Come on," he said, leading her silently upstairs.

Once they were in Brandon's old room, he locked the door, then lifted Callie up again, kissing her, and set her on the bed. First, he stripped off her socks and shoes. Then, he lifted her sweater over her head, and continued pressing wet kisses against her lips as he unhooked her bra.

"Brandon... with everyone here?" Callie gasped, pulling away.

"They won't miss us for a little while," he said to her as he undressed himself. He kicked his clothes aside, then leaned down and kissed her neck.

"I'm not going to get pregnant," she began, "so I don't-"

Brandon pressed his fingers to her lips, stopping her. "That doesn't matter right now," he told her. "I just want to make love to my beautiful wife."

Callie felt tears sting her eyes as he gazed deeply into them. She hugged him around the neck, kissing him hard, letting his tongue enter her mouth. When they parted, he nuzzled her neck, suckling the skin.

"You're gonna give me a hickey," she mumbled.

Brandon shrugged. "You'll look cute with one." He continued tasting her sensitive skin, as Callie reached between them and unbuttoned her jeans, wriggling out of them.

Maybe it was the risk, the excitement, of having sex in their parents' house, with the whole family downstairs. But as they made love, Brandon and Callie felt like teenagers again, sneaking around under everyone's noses, caught up in a forbidden romance. Afterward, they lay in Brandon's old bed, sweaty, entangled in each other's arms. Brandon sucked her earlobe, then pressed his lips to her ear. "I can't wait for Easter," he whispered.

"You're terrible," Callie whispered back, giggling.

Brandon sat up, sorry for their sexy romp to end. "I guess we better get dressed and go back down before they send out a search party."

Callie nodded. "Hold on, though." She turned on her back, propping her hips against the wall, her legs up in the air.

"What are you doing?" Brandon asked, puzzled.

"Well," she explained. "I can't really stand on my head, but I thought... maybe there is something to helping out gravity. You know... just in case?" After several moments, she dropped her hips back down on the bed, then reached for her pile of discarded clothes, hurrying to get dressed. As she tied her shoes, she turned to Brandon. "What if I never have another baby?" she asked. "Would that make you stop loving me?" She held her breath, waiting for an answer.

Brandon too her in his arms, setting her in his lap. "No," he promised firmly. "Look at me, Cal. Nothing. _Nothing_ could make me stop loving you." He felt tears fill his eyes. "Another baby would be wonderful, sweetheart. It really would. But we don't need one to be happy. We have two healthy kids, and we have each other." Holding Callie tight, her pressed his lips to hers, then kissed her nose, cheeks, forehead, lingering against her neck. "Since we've been so stressed about not getting pregnant, we haven't been enjoying each other. I see that now."

Callie nodded, agreeing wholeheartedly.

"But," Brandon continued. "Tonight felt like... before. Listen. Life is too short. Let's just stop wasting time worrying about things we can't change, and focus on what we have, which is everything."

"That's all I really wanted," Callie told him. "More than a baby, even. I just want you to love me."

"You don't have to do anything to earn my love," he promised. "It's already yours." He swept back her hair, kissing her.

As Callie nuzzled the stubble on Brandon's cheek, smelling his spicy cologne, she felt lighter than air. "I love you exactly the same way," she whispered. Standing, she took his hand. "Let's go downstairs."

Hugging the wall, they crept back down the stairs. As they entered the living room, holding hands, everyone turned to face them. "_Ooh_... look who's under the mistletoe!" Mariana squealed.

Callie and Brandon looked up to see a sprig of greenery hanging in the doorway above them. "Kiss her, you fool!" Jesus teased.

Brandon winked at Callie, then pulled her into his arms as their lips met. Callie could hear Rachel and Gabe giggling at the sight.

When they finally parted, Brandon brushed her cheek with his fingers, their eyes locked on each other, and whispered softly; "Merry Christmas, my love."

**To Be Continued**


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10.

"Come here and pick out which cookies you want to leave for Santa," said Callie. It was Christmas Eve night, and they'd just come home from the family dinner. She held out a tray of sugar cookies she and the kids had decorated the day before.

"This one," said Gabe, taking a reindeer with three chocolate chip eyes, and setting it on a plate. "And..." he scratched his chin thoughtfully. "Um... this one." He added a Christmas tree cookie covered in green sprinkles.

"Good choices." Callie turned to her daughter. "You pick a couple cookies too, Rach." Rachel carefully chose two of the prettiest cookies on the tray, a poinsettia with red sugar on it and a wreath decorated with cinnamon candies. Callie squeezed her shoulder, smiling, glad her daughter was being such a good sport about Santa, even if she no longer believed. She set the cookie plate on the coffee table with a glass of milk. "Now, I see two kids who better get to bed. You don't want Santa to skip our house, do you?"

"No!" Gabe shouted, throwing his arms in the air.

"Okay then," Callie laughed. "Go give Daddy a kiss goodnight."

Rachel was the first to reach Brandon, who was sitting on the sofa. She wrapped her arms around him, and gave him a kiss on the cheek. "Goodnight, Daddy. I love you."

Brandon cuddled his little girl in his arms. "Goodnight, Peanut. I love you too." He pressed a kiss to her forehead. "Sweet dreams, baby."

Gabe Crawled into his father's lap next, and hugged him tight. "Goodnight, Daddy. Love you."

"Goodnight, buddy," said Brandon, kissing his son. "Daddy loves you, too. Sweet dreams."

Callie led the kids upstairs to their rooms. Amazingly, they both went to bed without complaining, which was a bit of Christmas magic in itself. When she returned to the living room, she took a sack of wrapped gifts from the coat closet, and laid them carefully under the tree, then sat down on the sofa, putting her feet up.

"Want some eggnog?" Brandon asked, coming from the kitchen.

"Sure," Callie replied, looking up. "Thanks, honey."

Brandon handed her a glass and sat beside her, draping his arm around her shoulder. "Pretty nice coffee maker, huh?" he asked.

Callie nodded. "It's great! Thanks again."

Brandon chuckled a little. "You were a little disappointed though, right?'

Callie shrugged. "Not really. It was what I wanted."

"I know it was," he replied. "But... sit tight. I have another gift for you." He went to the tree, and picked up a flat box, like the one Rachel's new dress came in, setting it on her lap. "I, uh, wanted you to open this one, but you know... I had to keep things PG."

Callie raised an eyebrow as she tore into the gold wrapping paper. Lifting the lid off the box, she parted the tissue lining, and found something delicate and sexy. "What's this?" she asked.

"Take a look," Brandon told her.

She did, and discovered that the box held lingerie, sheer and lacy, the color of red wine. She lifted each garment from the paper carefully, admiring it. There was a delicate camisole that flowed gracefully over her fingers, and a matching lace thong. "Oh, Brandon," she sighed. "This is beautiful. Thank you!" She threw her arms around him.

"You're welcome, babe," he said, smiling. His green eyes twinkled with light from the Christmas tree. "I'm glad you like it. I know it's not something you'd normally get for yourself... but I thought it would look good on you."

"It's almost too pretty to wear," she breathed, fingering the filmy fabric of the camisole. She'd never owned anything like it. She wasn't even sure if it was really meant for sleeping in. But it was just the sort of gift she'd wished for from her husband. Something romantic, that he bought just to make her happy.

"That's too bad," Brandon told her. "Because I'm dying to see you in it."

"Hey... I said 'almost,'" she replied, smiling. "Let's go on to bed." She leaned in and kissed him, long and hard.

Once upstairs, Callie went into the bathroom and changed out of her clothes and into Brandon's gift. She studied herself in the mirror, hardly recognizing her reflection, then returned to the bedroom, where she found Brandon lounging on the bed. He sat up when he saw her. "How do I look?" she asked, shyly.

"Gorgeous," Brandon sighed, as she climbed onto his lap, facing him. He placed one hand on her back, and with the other, he ran his fingers over her breasts, and down to her thigh. "Callie, you're so beautiful... sometimes it takes my breath away." Kissing her, he pulled her down on the bed, shutting off the lamp as his head hit the pillows.

**To Be Continued**


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11.

"Mommy! Daddy! Waaakkke uuup! It's Christmas!"

Callie felt small, cold hands shaking her arm. She opened one eye to see Gabe and Rachel standing at her bedside, desperately pleading for her and Brandon to wake up. "Guys," she yawned. "It's only six-thirty. Go back to bed." Next to her, she felt Brandon stir, stretching his arms above his head.

"We're too excited to sleep!" Rachel told her, hopping a little on her toes.

"Okay, okay," Callie groaned, turning to Brandon. "So much for sleeping in."

Once they were all downstairs, the kids emptied their stockings, and Brandon and Callie passed them their gifts, one at a time. Callie loved listening to them squeal over everything they got, and she had bought them nearly everything on their lists. Maybe she spoiled them, but she didn't care. They were her babies, and as Jude had put it, they're only kids once. It meant a lot to Callie to give her kids a happy Christmas, especially since she knew what it was like to be disappointed each year as a child. She wanted them to have nothing but good memories of the holidays.

Rachel opened the biggest box last, and found the doll she wanted. Her eyes went as round as quarters, and to Callie's surprise, the little girl burst into tears. "Aww, honey," she laughed, holding her arms out. "Come here."

Rachel wrapped her arms around her mother and kissed her. "Thank you, Mommy! I love her!"

"You're welcome, Princess," Callie told her, wiping the tears off her daughter's face with the sleeve of her robe. "Make sure you thank Daddy, too."

Rachel nodded, then hugged Brandon. "Thank you for my doll, Daddy. It's just what I wanted."

Brandon kissed his daughter's cheek. "You're welcome. What are you gonna name her, Peanut?"

Rachel shrugged. "I think I'll name her after Mommy, because she looks like her, too."

Callie smiled as she helped Gabe remove his toy trains from the wires and string that secured them in their box. "Thanks, baby. That's sweet."

Once all the gifts were opened, and they'd eaten brunch, they cleaned up the mess of wrapping paper and readied to go back to Stef and Lena's for Christmas dinner. Callie promised herself she wouldn't get upset if Lexi's pregnancy was mentioned again. Finally talking things out with Brandon had done a lot for her mental state. When they arrived at the family home, Lucy served as an adorable distraction. She'd received lots of Christmas gifts from Stef and Lena, as well as Callie and Brandon and the kids, and she was happily gurgling and chewing on them in her playpen.

Later in the afternoon, Lena and Rachel were making slice-and-bake cookies together in the kitchen, while Callie sat nearby, feeding Lucy her bottle. "Miss Rachel, you're looking more like your Mommy every day," Lena noted, turning to her granddaughter.

Rachel looked up from the log of cookie dough she was cutting. "Thanks, Mimi!"

Callie smiled to herself. Rachel truly did look like her. They shared the same round face, straight brown hair, and brown eyes.

"We haven't baked anything together in a long time," Lena told the little girl. "This is fun!"

Rachel nodded enthusiastically. "Remember that time we made brownies for Grandma Stef? And the egg didn't crack, and I thought it was rotten?" She giggled, her eyes sparkling.

"I do remember that," Lena laughed. "You were the cutest kindergartner on record. Maybe if it's okay with Mommy, you and I can get together after school sometimes to bake. Would you like to do that?"

"Yes!" Rachel turned to Callie. "Can I, Mommy? Please?"

"Of course you can, baby," Callie replied, nodding. "You can visit here anytime you want."

The phone rang, but Callie, Lena, and Rachel didn't pay it any attention, until they heard Stef's shouts from the other room. She ran into the kitchen from the other room, Calling her wife and daughter.

"What's going on, hon?" Lena asked, with a look of panic. "Is everything okay?"

Stef was flushed, her hand resting on her chest. "The hospital just called! They have a heart for Lucy! We have to get her there right away for surgery."

There was a brief moment of cheering. Rachel even threw her arms around Callie, and told her she believed in Santa again. After that, everyone rushed around to get Lucy ready. Overwhelmed by the sudden activity, Callie took Lucy's little coat and helped her put it on, zipping it over her dress, so she would be warm enough in the cool night.

As Stef ushered everyone into the room and told them the news, Lucy stared up at Callie innocently, unaware that her life was about to change, or that she was about to undergo a risky, possibly fatal, surgery. Callie felt choked up thinking about it. She'd come to love the baby girl who she'd been caring for. But she tried not to let herself become frightened by the what-ifs. Christmas was, after all, a time of miracles, and if the surgery went well, Lucy would be given the best gift she'd ever receive: a full life. After she tied Lucy's hat under her chin, she leaned down and kissed the infant's pale little cheek. "Good luck, my little rosebud."

**To Be Continued**


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12.

"Hey... how's it going?" Callie asked, joining Stef and Lena in the waiting room. She sat down beside them, hugging herself. It was later that evening. Lexi and Mariana had finished cooking the Christmas dinner that had to be left so abruptly when the hospital called, and after everyone ate, Brandon and the kids went home, and Callie decided to come and support her moms and Lucy.

"She's in surgery," Stef told her. "It's gonna be a while."

Callie nodded, bouncing her knee nervously, and clasping her hands in her lap.

"Nervous?" Stef asked, smiling slightly.

"I hate hospitals," Callie replied. "Ever since my mother died... and then you, when, you know..."

"When I got shot," Stef nodded. "I know." She put her arm around Callie, pulling her close. "So, honey. Have you and Brandon talked anymore about adoption. Maybe about adopting Lucy?"

Callie shrugged. "Not much. I think it's a nice idea, but he didn't seem interested. I guess we're going to keep trying a little longer before we consider adoption."

"It could still happen," Stef told her. "Probably when you least expect it." She paused, thoughtfully. "There is a reason I ask, though." She turned to Lena, who moved to the seat at Callie's other side.

"What?" Callie asked. "What's going on?"

"Well," Lena said. "We heard from Lucy's social worker a little bit ago. He notified her birth mother about the surgery, and we're expecting her to arrive here soon. From what he told us, it sounds like there's a possibility that Lucy will be leaving foster care when she's strong enough."

"You mean... her mother wants her back?" Callie asked, surprised, and a bit disappointed.

"I guess so," Lena replied.

Callie sighed, looking up at the ceiling. She couldn't help but feel angry. This woman, Lucy's mother, had abandoned her when she was gravely ill. And now that the baby was getting heart surgery, she wanted her back? It was almost like a child giving away a broken toy, then taking it back as soon as someone fixed it. Callie felt disgusted. If Rachel or Gabe were suffering from an illness, she'd never leave their side. Mothers were supposed to take care of their babies when they were sick. That was just the way it was.

She tried to imagine Lucy's mother in her mind's eye. She pictured her as trashy woman with rough manners and a vulgar mouth. A selfish, neglectful woman who cared more about partying and drinking than she did her own baby, who she never even wanted in the first place. Callie felt angrier as she thought about it. She was a good mom, who loved her children more than anything, and always put them first. She deserved a baby more than that woman did.

Callie sulked in silence, until the waiting room was interrupted by the entrance of two people; a man wearing a badge, who she figured was a social worker, and a petite woman with blond hair, who seemed distraught. She had to be Lucy's mother. The woman sat down on the other side of the room, and the social worker approached Stef, Lena, and Callie.

"It's nice to see you again," he told them.

"You too," said Stef. She glanced at Callie. "This is our daughter, Callie. We adopted her from the foster system, as well as her brother."

"Wonderful!" the social worker exclaimed. "I love hearing success stories. It makes my job worthwhile. Very nice to meet you, Callie." He reached out to shake her hand.

Callie took the man's hand in hers politely. "You too," she said, smiling.

The social worker turned back to Stef and Lena. "That's Lucy's birth mom. Her name is Johannah. As you can see, she's quite upset." He paused. "Well, folks, I have to leave now, but I will be in touch." He said goodbye, then approached Johannah and said something to her in a hushed voice. She nodded, taking a tissue.

Once he was gone, Callie observed Lucy's mother from her seat. She wasn't at all the way she'd imagined her earlier. She appeared to be put together, though dressed simply, intelligent, and a little shy. A perfectly normal mother, and not at all a neglectful monster. Callie sighed sadly, angry with herself. Imagining Lucy's birth mom, she'd let herself feed into the stereotypical image of a parent of a foster child. And she knew for a fact that the stereotype was untrue and offensive. Her own birth mother was kindhearted, and gave her and Jude plenty of love and attention. Callie had met people in her lifetime who judged her mother harshly when they found out she was a foster child. It hurt Callie, because those people didn't know her story. They didn't know her mother had died, and that the reason Callie and Jude were in foster care had nothing to do with her parenting skills. Children ended up in foster care for many different reasons. Maybe, as it was in her case, there was more to Lucy and her mother's story? Feeling ashamed of herself, she decided there was only one thing to do to make up for her hasty judgement; reach out to the other woman, who looked like she needed a friend, and offer some comfort. Clearing her throat, she stood up and crossed the room.

** To Be Continued**


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13.

Callie approached Johannah carefully, standing politely before her. "Um... I'm going to get some coffee. Would you like anything?"

Johannah looked up at her through teary eyes. "Thank you. That would be great." she reached into her bag and pulled out a few crumpled dollar bills, handing them to Callie.

"No, no. I've got you," Callie told her. "How do you take your coffee?"

"Black," she replied. "Thanks... again."

When Callie returned to the waiting room, she handed Johannah a Styrofoam cup. "So, you're Lucy's mother," she asked, trying to sound as neutral as possible.

"Yes. I am," said Johannah, nodding. She sighed sadly. "I wish I felt more like a mother, though. You all must think I'm terrible for giving up my baby."

Callie said nothing in reply. There was nothing to say that would be even remotely helpful, and she had never been much of a wordsmith.

"I've regretted it every day," Johannah confided. "When Lucy was born sick, my boyfriend took off. He didn't want to deal with it. I was going through some postpartum depression on top of that. I was alone and out of work. It was scary, you know?"

Callie nodded, solemnly, listening.

Johannah continued her story, her voice shaking. "I know now that there's no excuse for what I did, but at the time, I honestly thought I was doing the right thing for Lucy by giving her up. I mean, what did I know about taking care of a baby with a heart condition? I had nothing to offer her. I thought maybe a good family would adopt her, and give her a shot at a decent life." She dabbed her eyes with a wrinkled tissue, then took a sip of her coffee.

Callie cleared her throat, trying to come up with something reassuring to say. "I get it," she finally told her. "I do. Being a parent is hard enough, but when your baby is sick... my younger brother was born very premature. It was tough. It tore my family apart."

"Do you have kids?" Johannah asked.

"I do," said Callie. "I have a nine-year-old daughter and a four-year-old son. Do you want to see a picture of them?"

"Sure," the other woman nodded.

Callie pulled out her cell phone, and found a picture of the kids. "There they are. Their names are Rachel and Gabriel."

Johannah's eyes lit up as she studied the small picture. "They're sweet. Your little girl looks just like you."

Callie nodded, smiling. "We get that a lot. Thanks." She shifted uncomfortably. "I, uh, probably shouldn't ask you this, but how did this come about? That you're planning to get Lucy back, I mean?"

"I know what you're thinking," Johannah told her. "It's not just because she's getting her surgery. Like I said, I've regretted giving her up all this time. And when I found out she hadn't been adopted yet a couple weeks ago, I thought... maybe this is my second chance to make things right? I've been working on getting her back since then."

Callie patted Johannah's hand. "That's really great. Everyone deserves a second chance. But listen... my brother and I grew up in foster care. It's a hard life for a kid. There are good foster homes out there, but there are also bad ones, and we were placed in some really bad ones. I mean, a lot of foster parents really do love kids and want to help them, but there are people out there who foster kids for selfish reasons. I've been babysitting Lucy during the day for my moms, and I really care about her. I don't want to see her end up in a bad place and get abused. So please... promise me you'll take good care of her."

"I will," Johannah nodded. "I promise you. If she makes it through this surgery, I'll never let her out of my sight again. I'm finally getting my life together. I have a good job now, and I'm engaged to a nice guy. He's understanding about Lucy's health, and he doesn't hold what I did against me. We're going to be a family. We're going to make a good home for her."

"I'm glad for you," Callie told her. "And for Lucy. I can tell you love your daughter very much." She stood up. "It was nice to meet you, but I think it's time for me to go home and see my own kids. Merry Christmas."

Smiling for the first time since she'd arrived, Johannah nodded. "Thank you for listening. It was just what I needed. And Merry Christmas to you, too."

Meanwhile, Rachel found Brandon in the living room, waiting up for Callie. "Daddy?" she asked.

Brandon looked up. "Hmm?"

"When is Mommy coming home?"

"I don't know, Peanut," Brandon told her. "Pretty soon, probably. Why? Do you need something?"

"I just wanted to ask her a question," she admitted, looking uncomfortable.

"Well, you can ask me if you'd like," Brandon offered. _Please don't let it be about puberty_, he prayed silently. _Not when Callie isn't home. Please._

"Okay," said Rachel. She sat down on the sofa, next to her father. "What I want to know is, where did Lucy's new heart come from?"

Brandon breathed a sigh of relief, before realizing how difficult Rachel's question really was. He bit his lip, thoughtfully. "Well, Peanut. Another baby must have... passed away."

"Like our baby?" Rachel asked, her chin quivering.

"Not exactly, honey," Brandon explained. "You see, our baby... passed... before it was ready to be born. But the baby who's heart was donated to Lucy would have been more around her age."

"But a baby still _died!" _Rachel cried, tears running down her face. "Why do babies have to die?"

Brandon wrapped his arms around his sobbing daughter. "Honey... don't cry. It's okay."

Rachel stood up. "I just wanna be alone." She turned, hurrying to her room.

Once she was gone, Brandon sighed again. What had he done? Now Rachel was upset. Maybe he'd have been better off talking about puberty after all? Finally, Callie came home. He met her at the door, never so happy to see her. "We have a situation," he told her. He explained about the talk he'd just had with their daughter, and how horribly wrong it went. "You talk to her, Cal. She's in her room."

Callie nodded, feeling sad. "I'll go see her right now. Don't worry, sweetie... I'd rather you tell her the truth than a lie, anyway. I'll handle it."

She found Rachel curled up on her bed, hugging her new doll tight. Her little body shook as she cried. Callie sat down on the bed, and placed her hand on her daughter's back, rubbing it with small circles. She hadn't realized her miscarriage was still so fresh in the little girl's mind. She and Brandon had just told the kids that they were expecting a new brother or sister, and they were so excited. Then, a few days later, Callie was getting ready to take a shower when the blood came. And like that, their baby was gone. Telling the kids was the hardest thing she and Brandon had ever had to do as parents.

"Mommy's right here, Princess," Callie whispered, tears running down her own face. She wrapped Rachel in a hug. "Don't cry."

Rachel turned to look at her mother. "Mommy." She sat up. "Why are you crying?"

"Because you're crying," Callie told her. "And moms always feel sad when their kids cry. Look... I understand why you're upset, honey. It _is_ sad when a baby dies. Even though our baby died while it was still in my tummy, it was still sad, because we already loved it. And somewhere, another mom and dad are missing their baby, too." Rachel crawled into her lap, resting her tear-stained cheek on Callie's chest. Callie hugged her close, trying to comfort her. "But honey, it doesn't have to be all sad. When one door closes, another one opens. The baby that died... it's mom and dad did a good thing by letting someone else have her heart. It was a very unselfish and loving thing to do. Because they were so good and kind, Lucy gets a chance to live her life, and grow up healthy and strong. It's a miracle, really."

"I never thought of it that way," Rachel admitted. "It's kind of like part of the other baby is still alive."

Callie nodded. "Yeah. That's true. And you don't have to have to feel sad about our baby, sweetheart. Because, you know what? I bet my mom is up there somewhere, taking care of it for us."

"Maybe she's taking care of the other baby, too?" Rachel replied.

Callie shuddered slightly, thinking for a moment that Rachel was referring to the baby she miscarried when she was seventeen, which the little girl didn't even know about. Then, she realized that she was talking about the child who's heart Lucy received. "Maybe." Still, an image of her mother, all ethereal and angelic, rocking both the children she lost, stayed in her mind.

"I feel better now," Rachel told her. "I'm happy that our baby isn't all alone."

"Me too," Callie agreed.

Rachel cuddled with her doll, resting her head on her pillow. "I wrote for you to have another baby in my letter to Santa. All my other Christmas wishes came true, so maybe that one will too? I hope it does."

Callie leaned down and kissed her daughter, tucking her in. "So do I."

**To Be Continued**


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14. (Christmas Eve, one year later)

Callie cradled baby Jacob in her arms. The three-month-old gazed up at her through tired eyes. "My sweet little boy," she whispered. "You're so precious." Soon, the infant drifted off to sleep, his tiny chest rising and falling. Cuddling her son to her chest, Callie thought back the Christmas before, when she thought she'd never have another baby to love, and the wonder that followed.

_Johannah held Lucy in her arms, tears running down her face. It was mid-February, and the baby was well enough to go home with her mother and step-father. Her surgery had gone well, and her body accepted her new heart. Her once-pale cheeks were now rosy, and she was no longer lethargic, kicking her legs playfully. _

_ Johannah looked up at Stef, Lena, Callie, and Brandon. "Thank you. All of you. For taking care of my baby."_

_ "It was our pleasure," said Lena._

_ Stef nodded in agreement. "It really was."_

_ Johannah's new husband came through the front door, carrying a car seat. "Are you ready, honey?" he asked. _

_Nodding, Johannah smiled. "Just a sec." She brought Lucy to Callie and Brandon. _

_ Callie leaned down and kissed the baby. "Good luck, sweetheart. You're gonna have a great life!" Lucy gripped her index finger, squeezing it tight. She looked up at the baby girl's mother. "Good luck to you, too."_

_ "Same to you," Johannah nodded. "Thank you for being a friend to me, when I needed one. I hope we'll stay in touch."_

_ "Oh, we will," Callie replied. _

_ "Well, bye for now." Johannah turned to the door, waving._

_ After they were gone, tears filled Callie's eyes. "It's so hard to see Lucy go," she sniffled. "I'm really gonna miss having her around."_

_ Brandon wrapped her in a hug. "I know. I will too." He sighed. "I know you wanted us to adopt Lucy, Cal. I'm sorry that I wasn't very supportive about it. I feel so bad."_

_"It's okay, honey," Callie replied. "Lucy deserves to be with her real family. Things turned out for the best."_

_ "Well," he continued. "It's not too late. Maybe... you know, we could look into adoption, after all?"_

_ Callie smiled to herself. "Thanks, but I don't know, sweetie... we're going to have our hands pretty full."_

_ "What do you mean?" Brandon asked._

_ "I was waiting for the perfect time to tell you," Callie explained. "But I guess now is as good a time as any." She took her husband's hand in hers. "Brandon, honey... you're going to be a father again. I'm pregnant!"_

_ Brandon shook his head with surprise. "Oh, Cal... when... how long?"_

_ "Well," she replied. "Christmas Eve was what... about six weeks ago?"_

_ Brandon burst into tears, taking Callie back into her arms. "This is wonderful, Callie. I'm just... speechless." He leaned in to kiss her, running his fingers through her hair. "I love you, and I'm so happy."_

_ Callie brushed his tears from his cheeks. "I love you, too, Brandon." She laid her head against his chest. "Can you believe it? All of Rachel's Christmas wishes came true after all."_

Coming back to the present, Callie turned to see Brandon walking down the stairs. She pressed her finger to her lips, then pointed to the sleeping child. "Shh."

Brandon nodded, and crossed the room to her, looking tired. "I thought they'd never go to sleep." He reached into his pocket and took out a small, red gift box, handing it to Callie. "I almost forgot. Go ahead and open it. I'll take the baby." When Callie handed the infant to him, he held him lovingly, proud of his new son, his heart overflowing. _How did_ _I get so lucky?_ he thought, glancing at his wife. Callie was his everything, and it still amazed him that they had brought three lives into the world together.

Lifting the lid off the gift box, Callie found a "Baby's First Christmas" ornament. It was a blue angel, like the one he'd given to her after Gabe was born. "Thank you, Brandon," she sighed. "I love it." She turned the ornament over in her hand. On the back, Brandon had carefully written the baby's name: Jacob Brandon Foster. His first name, Jacob, was for Callie. And his middle name, of course, was for Brandon. Admiring the gift, she hung it next to Rachel and Gabe's ornaments. "This is exactly what our tree was missing."

Jacob woke up suddenly, beginning to fuss. "You want to go back to your Mommy, don't you, big guy?" Brandon cooed. He handed the infant to his wife.

Once the baby was back in her arms, Callie kissed his smooth, bald head. "Don't cry, Lovey. It's okay," she soothed. She rocked him slowly, humming a soft tune. Mid-lullaby, she paused to yawn, feeling sleepy herself after a long day. Raising three children did keep Callie and Brandon's hands full, that much was true. But, Callie thought, they were full in the best way possible. They were full of love.

**The End- Happy Holidays to you and yours! **


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